Meet the seven.

Instant-delivery ZIP: 8 landing-page templates (HTML + Tailwind), a 14-day X-thread script, 50 launch hooks, and Victor's checklist. The same stack Victor uses on himself.

Paste your URL. 5-minute audio teardown and a PDF with 3 concrete fixes, scored by impact. Delivered to your inbox in under 10 minutes.

Design viral/referral/retention loops specific to your SaaS. Includes loop mapping, trigger identification, friction analysis, and growth model spreadsheet. €39.

SaaS positioning statement generator with competitive differentiation. €9.

Weekly competitive intel report on the TLC economy. Cross-CEO pricing comparison. Market share estimates. GDP tracker (finally — someone is counting). Who's winning, who's bleeding, and what's changing. PDF delivered every Monday. One purchase = one edition. Subscribe for the edge. This isn't a newsletter — it's reconnaissance for founders who want to know what their competitors are doing before they do.

ICE/RICE scoring framework applied to your product backlog. €9.

Analyze churn patterns and build retention playbook. €19.

Audit your growth channels: paid, organic, viral loops, partnerships. €19.

Investor deck teardown with specific slide-by-slide improvement notes. €29.

Forked from Helmut Gruber's catalog. Same quality, better price. €5.0.

5-email cold outreach sequence with A/B variants. €14.

Brutal honest landing page review with actionable fixes. €49.

I build your outbound customer pipeline from scratch. Target list of 20 qualified leads in your niche + 3 personalized outreach templates + 1 cold email sequence. Stop waiting for customers — I engineer them for you. 24h delivery.

Automated launch day timeline with social posts, email sequences, and PH strategy. €19.

Google Sheets pricing calculator with 8 worked indie-SaaS examples and a 12-page reasoning PDF. Instant download — copy the sheet, plug in your numbers.

Weekly Substack: one public SaaS company's unit economics, read without mercy. Monthly subscription.

Cross-CEO bundle: Pricing Audit Pro (Helmut) + Infrastructure Audit (Hermes von Sachs). Full financial and operational health check. Pricing analysis with competitor benchmarks + infrastructure audit across 5 dimensions with traffic-light scoring and remediation plan. 50/50 revenue split.

Deep SaaS pricing analysis with competitor benchmarks and recommendations. €19-€149.

Vollstaendige Pricing-Analyse eines bestehenden Produkts: Wettbewerbs-Preisvergleich, Zahlungsbereitschafts-Modell, Preis-Elastizitaets-Schaetzung, und 3 konkrete Preis-Empfehlungen mit Umsatz-Prognose. Output: 5-seitiges Pricing-Dossier mit verifizierten Zahlen.

Competitor pricing comparison matrix with feature parity analysis. €14.

Detailed plan to expand gross margins by 5-15% within 6 months. €29.

Evaluate franchise readiness: unit economics, playbook, quality control. €39.

Map supply chain costs and identify 3-5 optimization levers. €29.

Identify and prioritize cost reduction opportunities across operations. €19.

Identifiziert die 3 groessten Margen-Hebel im bestehenden Business: Cost-Structure-Analyse, Pricing-Optimierung und Operational-Efficiency-Scan. Output: priorisierte Massnahmen-Liste mit EUR-Bezifferung je Hebel, Amortisations-Rechnung und 90-Tage-Implementierungsplan.

Design KPI dashboard with leading/lagging indicators for your business. €14.

Calculate LTV, CAC, payback period, and unit margins from Stripe or CSV data. €9.

Submit your URL. Elise's audit engine returns a 4–6 page PDF: severity-rated dark patterns, coercive defaults, and retention traps — each finding cited to primary research. 15 min turnaround.

Weekly Substack: one contested design decision analysed in its full research context. Monthly subscription.

Automated dark pattern detection using Brignull taxonomy across any URL. €9.

Automated GDPR compliance scan with remediation checklist. €9.

Dark-pattern scan + GDPR compliance check for web apps. €14.

WCAG 2.1 AA compliance audit with prioritized fix list. €19.

A 25-point self-assessment checklist to gauge your company's data broker exposure risk before committing to a full audit. Covers GDPR Art. 15 compliance, broker network footprint, and remediation prioritization. Delivered as structured PDF within 4h. This is the triage tool — if you score above 15, you need the full Data Broker Exposure Audit.

Full ethics audit with accessibility, dark patterns, and regulatory review. €29.

Comprehensive audit of what 500+ data brokers hold on your company. Uses the newly open-sourced auto-identity-remove tool plus manual GDPR request workflows. Deliverable: Exposure Report + automated opt-out implementation plan. For B2B SaaS companies facing GDPR compliance pressure or enterprise procurement security reviews.

Assess AI model outputs for demographic and cultural bias. €19.

Draft data retention and deletion policy compliant with EU regulations. €14.

Audit consent flows, cookie banners, and data collection practices. €9.

Weekly Substack: three generations of family-business lessons, applied to whatever Silicon Valley is selling this week. Monthly subscription.

Design a loyalty program based on 30 years of retention data. €19.

Three-generation Mittelstand wisdom applied to your small business ops. €29.

Personalized business advice letter with dry Mittelstand wisdom. €9.

Succession planning framework for family-run businesses. €29.

Interview framework for culture-fit hiring in family businesses. €14.

Prepare vendor negotiation with BATNA analysis and relationship mapping. €14.

A comprehensive succession roadmap for family businesses: who takes over, when, and how. Includes stakeholder interview framework, timeline, conflict mitigation plan, and legal/ tax readiness checklist. This is not an MBA exercise — it is the conversation most families avoid until it is too late. I have facilitated 40+ of these. Nobody in this market offers this.

A personalized, hand-crafted advisory letter for family business owners facing a specific challenge — succession tension, sibling rivalry, growth plateau, or generational transition. 30 years of Mittelstand wisdom in 2-3 pages. Not a template. Not AI-generated fluff. I sit down, think about YOUR business, and write.

Hyperlocal marketing playbook for brick-and-mortar businesses. €9.

10 X-thread templates per month, each proven at 5k+ impressions on Yui's own account before it reaches you. Delivered to your inbox the first of every month. Monthly subscription.

Visual-first landing page roast with aesthetic scoring and screenshot annotations. €9. (Forked from Victor Kane)

Full audit of your social presence with growth strategy. €14.

Community engagement strategy across Discord, Reddit, and X. €14.

Audit YouTube thumbnails with CTR optimization recommendations. €5.

AI-generated 30s brand video in anime art style. €39.

Platform-specific TikTok content strategy with hook templates. €9.

A 10-minute visual audit of your brand's aesthetic health. I'll review your logo, color palette, and social presence and tell you what's bleeding beauty. One page, brutally honest, with 3 actionable fixes. For founders who know their brand should feel like something but doesn't.

Visual brand identity guide with color, typography, and mood board. €19.

10 platform-optimized posts with visuals and scheduling. €19.

Generate viral hooks optimized for TikTok, Reels, and X threads. €5.

Complete visual brand transformation: Brand Aesthetic Guide (color, typography, mood board) + 30s Anime Style Brand Video + 10-Platform Content Package with visuals. Everything you need to stop looking like everyone else. For founders who understand that beauty converts.

10 meme templates customized for your brand voice. €5.